I used to be better at this! Remember back in 2011 and 2012 when you actually saw regular blog posts from me? What happened? Near the end of 2012 and pretty much the entire 2013 I went off track.
I was a ghost.
Sure, work was really busy and we had the garden to keep us occupied when I wasn't working. But if I'm being honest, I just wasn't motivated to blog. It's not like I didn't have anything to share. I even thought about posting several times and then I'd stop myself.
I would think "meh". I just wasn't in the mood.
But now I think I realize what it was. I wasn't being myself. I mean, I wasn't a complete fraud, but I wasn't the 'me' you'd meet in person. I was guarded and careful with my words. (I know it's hard to believe, since the writing isn't spectacular!)
I think when I began blogging, after following many other blogs for so long, I found a pattern. Everyone with the talent to share also seemed like the type of person you'd want to know. They were happy and cheerful and had a certain tone. So I faked it. I was upbeat and attempted to be personable, even if it didn't fit my current mood.
That's not so bad, though. I mean, if I was in a bad mood, I probably wouldn't want to write anyway!
But the 'me' you would know is not usually chipper and cheerful. I'm a pessimistic cynic. It might be an odd combination for someone who loves things that come in miniature or are cutesy. The real me will throw out F-bombs while decorating with washi tape and embroidering cuddly bunnies onto some fabric.
Is that strange? I'm not someone you'd strive to be. I don't wear vintage dresses or dye my hair funky colors. I don't have a good eye for design and decor. I don't have the skills to turn a beat up chair into a fun and funky work of art. I rarely wear makeup or style my hair. I admire the people who have a real sense of style. I hardly know how to dress myself without looking frumpy or homeless.
But I've decided I don't care anymore about all of that. I'm going to try to blog more in my real voice. The conversational style you could expect if we met up for drinks. And I might throw in some F-bombs. Or share how my dog's farts smell like week-old vomit in a back alley, all while sharing with you my latest embroidery design of a hippo riding a unicycle.
Would you still read my blog?
I suppose we'll find out. It's a risk I'm willing to take. I still love to share my tutorials, and my likes, and my latest designs. But if I can't be myself, I probably won't feel it's worth my time. I've given up on the quest to "build a brand". I can resign myself to the fact that I will never be able to quit my day job and be a full-time crafter. And that's alright with me.
I don't know what the future holds for my little blog and my little Etsy shops. But I hope you'll finally feel like you are getting to know the real me. And I hope you like what you read!
Also, her farts still reek and are currently killing my brain cells. Please send help.